


Don't Eat the Monkey

by PerryPurpleFingers



Category: Darkiplier - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF, Wilford Warfstache - Fandom
Genre: Established Relationship, First time writing Anti, M/M, Prompt writing, Zoo, also Jim(s), because why not?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-05-04 16:30:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14597076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PerryPurpleFingers/pseuds/PerryPurpleFingers
Summary: Wil and Dark take one of the Jims to the zoo for the day.





	Don't Eat the Monkey

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheAwkwardLadyJay](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAwkwardLadyJay/gifts), [AvaFirebreather](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvaFirebreather/gifts).



"Do I have to?"

"Yes, Wilford you do! It's your turn to take one of the Jims out for the day," Dark's voice was growing desperate after almost two hours of arguing with his boyfriend. There was a pause as Wil considered another argument to make. His mind was blank. Dark had won this battle, but Wil wasn't going into this alone.

"I'll go under one condition," Wil proposed.

"And what is that?"

"You, Darky Darling, come with me," Wil cooed with a massive grin crawling over his face as he delivered the ultimatum. As much as Dark wanted to object, he knew he really didn’t have much to say otherwise. So, Dark set his frustrations aside and gave in to Wil.

“Fine. But, we do something simple and quick.”

“The zoo! What a wonderful idea!” Wil’s eyes filled with excitement as the picture of animals, cotton candy, and Dark filled his thoughts.

“Very well. Go get one of the Jims, and let’s get going,” Dark conceded. Although he would never admit it, Dark actually enjoyed the zoo. The animals created a natural peace around him. The more he thought about it, he needed a relaxing break. He would have to assume responsibility for the Jim, but he usually was able to control them well enough, when he tried. Today, he thought, may actually be a delight.

Without Dark noticing, Wil left to find the Jims. This task was rather easy considering it was nearly impossible to go more than an hour without encountering at least one. There was always a guarantee of finding a Jim in their room. No one knew exactly how so many people could possibly share a single room, but no one was prepared to ask.

Before he could make it halfway to the room, Wil ran into a pair of Jims. They were usually in pairs like this, stealing Bings cloths, sneaking into Dr. Iplier’s office, and other mischief. This duo was in the middle of a game of “Who can stuff more nickels in their mouth” when they spotted the candy man approaching them.

“Spit those out, now! You could choke on them!” Wil reprimanded before he realized he should probably avoid scaring them off. He swiftly changed his tone before the Jims could scatter with their loose change still lodged in their mouths.

“Please, spit those out? I wouldn’t want you getting hurt,” Wil pleaded. The first Jim obeyed and opened his mouth, releasing an ungodly amount of coins. The other Jim was less complacent, and scooped up the saliva covered nickels and scrambled away.

“No! Wait! I-I…oh, never mind,” Wil sighed, turning to the remaining Jim.

“Would you like to go to the zoo with Dark and I?” Wil asked with overwhelming friendliness.

“The zoo?” the Jim inquired with little attention to Wil, “Like, with animals and birds?”

“Yes! It will be tons of fun!” Wil cheered, careful not to point out the fact that birds were animals.

“Okay, bubblegum man. Where’s the demon guy?” Jim absently asked again.

“Follow me, and we’ll find him.”

Wil knew exactly where Dark would be. He led Jim to the garage where Dark was quietly waiting in the car. Wil opened the back door to let the Jim into the backseat before crawling into the passenger seat. The ride was mostly silent except for the nonstop talking of Wil and Jim. Dark had gotten used to the pointless conversations Wil would have with all of the Jims. The topic of their discussions was often the most random things imaginable. The only time Dark payed any attention to their dialogue was when it was about himself or his relationships. He knew the Jims were not fond of him, yet they were unanimously devoted to Wil.

The ride was over before any subject of interest could arise. The zoo was mostly vacant, and that only made this outing seem more pleasant to Dark and, for the greater half of the day, it was. The entrance fee was fairly cheap, adding to Dark’s enjoyment.

“Let’s go see the tigers!” Wil squealed the moment he entered the park. Before Dark could organize a structure route on the map, Wil and Jim were dashing towards the loin exhibit. Without trying to inform the two that the lions were in the opposite direction, Dark sighed and followed behind.

Dark was busy admiring the penguins while Wil lifted Jim onto his shoulders to see the polar bears a few enclosures away. It was an odd sight, considering Jim was in no way like a small child. The sound of familiar static began to fill Dark’s ears as he continued to watch the aquatic birds.

“Taking time to go to the zoo now? I thought you didn’t have time for shit like that,” a painfully accustomed voice mocked behind Dark. Thousands of memories crammed into Dark’s head. He knew the voice all too well.

“I’m just taking a break with Wil. You know that,” Dark replied without turning to face to voice. He looked to see if Wil and Jim were close by. They had left the polar bears to visit the next group of animals and were well out of sight.

“you never came here with me. I didn’t even know you liked these kind of things,” the voice continued. Dark fought the urge to turn his head. He knew exactly who it was talking to him. It was Anti. He didn’t know whether to ignore him and find Wil or continue the conversation.

“Things have changed. You know that,” Dark continued against his better judgement as he strolled on to the next exhibit. “So why are you here?” he finally asked.

“To check on you, obviously. I wanted to see if being with that pink haired monster has broken you yet,” Anti whispered. Dark couldn’t tell if Anti was still behind him or not. With a deep breath, he spun around only to find nothing. The static in Dark’s ears had ceased, and now he had lost track of the two children.

After a few minutes of searching, Dark found Wil and Jim viewing the flamingos. They didn’t seem to perceive his absence when he rejoined them. Jim was laughing as he pointed to Wil’s mustache. He was undoubtedly pointing out the similar color the mustache had with the pink birds.

Once the trio finished exploring half of the zoo, they stopped to eat lunch. Dark hadn’t planned on staying this long, or he would have packed some kind of lunch for everyone. However, the zoo had several food stands to order from. Dark selected a picnic table while Wil and Jim got a meal. Wil returned carrying a massive bag of cotton candy, an ice cream cone, and a heavily fried corn dog. Jim simply had a hot dog and a soda.

“Don’t you think that’s a bit much, Wil?” Dark queried as Wil set his collection on the table. Dark didn’t eat often; he didn’t need to. He rarely had the time to anyway.

“I can handle it, Darky. Don’t worry about me,” Wil retorted as he began to down the corn dog.

“You might as well eat on of the monkeys here with how much food you have,” Dark joked. Wil only rolled his eyes and moved on to his ice cream. The two enjoyed the lunch for a good half an hour. It was only when Dark was about to fall asleep on the grass that he detected that Jim had gone missing.

“Where could he have gone? He could be in danger!” Wil shouted in complete hysteria. He swiveled his head back and forth in an attempt to locate Jim. Dark was used to seeing Wil in a panic, but this was starting to concern him. It was just another Jim; there were plenty to go around.

“He’s bound to still be in the zoo. Now, you go back to the marine displays, and I’ll check the primate house,” Dark commanded with composure. Without responding, Wil darted out to the fish tanks. Dark, however, took his time to enjoy the zoo some more.

The underwater enclosures were a maze of fish and glass, and Wil’s reckless searching sent him in circles. He passed the shark tank at least four times before he took light of the issue. He needed to slow down. He would never find Jim this way. He rested for a minute on a nearby bench to catch his breath. The truth was, Wil cared deeply for the Jims. All of them. They shared the same careless curiosity, excitement, and impulsiveness. He knew each Jim personally which was an astonishing feat. He only complained about them to get something out of Dark. Wil was responsible for the Jims, and now, he lost one. He couldn’t go home until the missing Jim was safe. Wil quickly began a more organized search, determined to succeed.

Dark, on the other hand, was less passionate about the Jims. They were just an amalgamation of random ideas and chaos, and they gave him anxiety whenever he thought about them. They were out of his control most of the time, not that he ever really tried, and they knew it. In general, however, nothing catastrophic ever happened between the Jims and Dark. He would give anything to keep things that way.

After his casual saunter around the zoo, Dark reached the primate house. They were loud and obnoxious, making Dark regret choosing this location to search. Rather than focus on the mission to save the lost Jim, Dark tried to enjoy himself. He stopped to observe the numerous species of monkey and ape. They reminded him of the Jims, in a way. Heedlessly moving about and rolling around with each other. Dark found it slightly adorable. Yet, they were still intelligent; Dark could see that. The thought never occurred to him before, but he could recall several instances in which a Jim managed to surprise Dark with their thinking. Maybe the Jims weren’t as barbaric as he envisioned.

It was on that thought that Dark spotted something out of place in the exhibit. One of the monkeys appeared to be wearing a blue shirt. It was only after further inspection that Dark felt his stomach plummet inside him. It was Jim, in the enclosure. Stunned, Dark simply starred and wondered how the hell the Jim managed to get in with the animals. He could only watch and Jim crept up to one of the sleeping monkeys.

“Don’t eat the monkey!” a shout echoed throughout the building. Dark turned to see Wil, full sprint, toward him while eyeing Jim closely. The slap of sound shook Dark from his trance. Wil’s voice got Jim’s immediate attention. “Jim Dear, it was just a joke! Come out of there before you hurt yourself!” Jim wasted no time to follow the command; within seconds, he was standing next to the pair of lovers.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt? What were you thinking? Are you okay?” Wil asked in rapid succession. “Don’t go off like that without telling me. I lost my mind with worry.” His anger faded before Jim could make any sort of argument. Jim started to speak but was suddenly silenced by Wil as he hugged him tightly.

“Well, I think it’s time we head home. We’ve had quite the adventure,” stated Dark as he watched his boyfriend continue to hug Jim. Wil looked at Dark with slight disappointment, but it didn’t take long for him to agree.

The ride home was quiet as Wil and Jim dozed off, leaving Dark to think to himself. Wil was full of unconditional care. Dark had always known that, but today he saw it more than ever. The thought of Wil’s charisma made him smile. He was luckier than he imagined to know Wil. Today’s trip was more delightful than Dark ever could have expected, and he looked forward to doing it again next time.


End file.
